I sounded the wake-up call, opened the bedroom shade and surveyed my sister-in-law's handiwork on the front lawn. Yellow caution tape encircled the trees, orange and yellow flags stood tall in the grass and a large poster announced, "Caution, a teenager lives here!" It was the dawn of my oldest son Nathan's birthday.
My sons and I had been alone for eight years, ever since a brain tumor took my husband's life. I loathed my single status. A year after his death, I asked God to quickly bring me a new husband. I didn't want to face life or parenting alone. And preparing the boys for manhood was an overwhelming task, so God had to provide a new father before my son's teen years.
My mom lovingly cautioned me it might take a while to meet the right someone. I reminded her that God knew my plan - my boys needed a new father by the time they reached puberty.
Eighteen lonely months after my husband died, a potential mate came on the scene. Excitement robbed me of sleep, but after a few telephone conversations and one dinner date, it was over. He refused to even respond to a my friendly hello at church.
Months later, a mutual friend arranged a blind date with a successful salesman who flew in on a private jet to take me to lunch. He then proceeded to conduct a two-week interview to determine my candidacy as his future wife. Enthralled and confused, I waited to see if I'd been selected but never heard from him. Strike two.
As year three rolled around, the perfect match came my way. His father knew mine. Eager families expressed confidence in our union. He placed a diamond ring on my finger six weeks after we met. The engagement lasted 40 days. I went into hiding with my emotions in shambles. Strike three.
My heart was broken. I waited years before I attempted to date again. When that relationship fell through, I angrily asked God, "Why have you made a mockery of my desire to be married? I've prayed. I've asked for guidance. I've waited more than seven years. Why must I endure so much pain?"
God slowly began to heal my emotions and brought a new perspective through my son Nathan one night as I flipped burgers on a grill. "I know there's a 'happily ever after' for you, Mom. I don't know when but I just kinda' believe there is one," he said. When I reminded him I'd already waited a long time, he simply replied, "Are you still breathing?"
His tactic made me stop and thing, Yes, I am, and my timing obviously isn't God's. His timing is always perfect. A twinge of hope resurfaced.
Summer turned to autumn and the eighth anniversary of my husband's death piggy-backed my 35th birthday. A group of men from my church offered to finish a room in my basement. Their kindness encouraged me.
They framed and put up drywall, but busy schedules slowed the remodeling progress, so Nathan and I grabbed paint-brushes and headed downstairs. Conversation led to our mutual love of books and movies with happy endings. Nathan commented, "I think we're living our 'happily ever after' right now, Mom."
You mean without a dad? Without a husband? Without knowing how to raise my sons as godly men? I thought to myself.
But Nathan recognized what I'd failed to see: We aren't alone. The Lord is with us. He is my husband (Isaiah 54:5). He is Father to my boys (Psalm 68:5). Our family, church friends and neighbors love and support us.
The church crew finished our basement room two weeks shy of Nathan's 13th birthday. I woke that festive morn as a newly remodeled in mind and heart as the room below.
Worries gone and plans released. A deep trust that God was in control gave me peace. I was ready to celebrate my life as a woman and a mother. My son is a teenager!
Schreer, Susan. "God's Plan or Mine?" Focus on the Family Single-Parent Edition January 2006: SPF.